A deep dig at the toxic friendship !
- Definition of a Friend
- What is Friendship ?
- Identify Fake friends (See the change - Red Flags)
Ask yourself, what is your definition of friendship? When was the last time you had someone by your shoulder and you were hysterically blabbering about the mess you have in your life? When was the last time someone made you feel accepted in just being your natural self? When was the last time you felt not alone even after being alone? These questions are what creates the infrastructure of the word - Friendship.
- It is a song that you go to when you feel excruciating agony.
- It is the soul to knock when all the doors are rejecting your conspicuous misery.
- It is the air that makes you feel jovial about your original self, no morphing, no filter - just you - but pretty.
F.R.I.E.N.D
A Friend is someone who is ready to listen to you, when everybody else is refusing to. You don’t feel obligated, you feel life, you feel things, you feel euphoria when you have that one friend.
Sharing is the alibi of you being yourself in front of that one friend.
We humans are very cunning creatures, we don't tend to share with one another unless it gratifies and negates some kind of worth but when we go down the road of sharing - we cross that road with our best friend.
There is no judgement, no punishment, no boundaries, no hesitation, no fear, no complexion, no jade.
When you hit the murk, you go to a friend to breathe for life.
Ask yourself, who is that one person your subliminal self craves or hankers when you are stuck ? When you feel lost, who is that one person you wanna go to?
F.R.I.E.D.S.H.I.P
You are aware of the definition of a friend.
Now, let's address the term - Friendship.
It’s a regime, a partnership, a harmony set up between people to respect, honor, appreciate, depreciate and foster honesty between them.
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Friendship is never about forever - it's about for the time being.
It is so shallow when people say, “we are best friends for forever” or those cool kids who go by, “we BFFs for life, bruh”. And if you are one of those who are hung on the idea of eternity, let me pump some harshly true enlightenment in you - Forever is a myth and eternal is a game. Don’t just sway in it. Don't set yourself up for a heartbreak.
When you are in a relationship - say for now, Friendship. You work things out together.
You allow the other person to say - you hear.
You make a space for the both of you, where you guys are disconnected from the world but yourselves.
Friendship is beautiful, the most beautiful thing that you will ever encounter or ditch.
It’s not about someone telling you what friendship is, it's about you finding out what it actually is. You don’t understand friendship, friendship understands you and you feel the most euphoric during that phase of your life. As much as it is true that nothing lasts forever, it is also certain that value and respect can increase the shelf life of friendship.
Value one another. Pay respect. Understand. Be ready to listen and get berated. Help and sway through difficulties together.
Often, it happens that everything seems to be going so natural, so alive, so good but a deep omen in you just doesn’t feel right. You feel uneasy when everything seems to be normal and perfect.
The first error - THINGS SEEMS TO BE PERFECT.
Perfect is again a delusion, the very first flag most people tend to overlook. Now let’s see the red flags that many people ignore in the beginning and hence find themselves mushed with salty tears and betrayed soul -
The switch - You enter the close proximity of your friend and you see him acting in a certain way. You see him aloof, apprehensive or agitated with your presence. You find him being cautious. He acts all animated, all fake.
When and Then - It’s when they want you and only then they are with you. They want certain assistance, help from you, that they are with you. But, As soon as you accomplish their aid, they disappear.
Alone in dust - You find yourself alone whenever you hit your bottom. When you feel heavy and you want to erupt your emotions out, you fall back blindly thinking your best friend will catch you, only to be slathered in broken expectations. They are not there for you. You are abandoned alone in ignorance.
Hide and reek - You find them hiding things, hiding matters, lying to your naïve face and then being bitter and reekingly salty against you on the tiniest things. You find them acting up on the most obnoxious things. Your preferences now clash with theirs. You oppose. You repel.
Ghost Game - They abandon you on read. They find you annoying or get annoying with the efforts you do to steal their pre-occupied attention. They in general refuse or ditch on all the plans you guys had woven together. You find yourself being the discarded person.
Bridge Breaks - The emotional bridge that was between you people now seems broken. You are not able to connect with your best friend. You are failing to express yourself with words in front of the person who you once used to get you without words. Earlier he used to get it now there stands a wall - a wall of utter disconnect that has shackled him and dusted him in the zone of ‘disinterest’. Hence him ebbing away.
Gang and bash - They now gather together and throw bashful allegations at you that ultimately makes you feel ever so dejected and alone. You are in a spot where you just can’t understand, what is it that you’re doing wrong? What is your fault?. They become the victim and you become the oblivious prey.
No Compound - it's one way now. You grinding, you getting beaten, you still getting up and giving - giving love on account of keeping your most precious friendship alive. He has lost interest. He has stopped caring. And there you are still knocking on his door and pleading for another chance.
Toxic War - You find yourself having to explain your actions. You find suffocating being around them, They just give you this unpleasant vibe. You have lost yourself in this toxic game of friendship. You just don't feel right to persuade it any further.
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